NeptuneRX & Mercury - Flying of the grid

-this ⬇️ happens when Mercury in transit is conjunct your Sagittarius ascendant: a deep dive soul read manifestation from the subconscious to the conscious mind, brewed in Scorpio behind the horizon, Mars & the Sun still brewing there currently, curious to see which actions are manifested-

Dreamy Neptune versus concrete Mercury

NN Pisces, SN Virgo / 3rd & 9th house

NeptuneRX 0°Sagittarius, 12th house Placidus with 23° cusp Scorpio. Oriental planet and karmic path forward driven. This outer planet determines my life(path). JupiterRX at 1° Scorpio as chart ruler. NeptuneRX & JupiterRX rule my North Node (karmic path forward), Jupiter rules my chart. Jupiter is the 9th house and in my chart the fist house. I mentioned this before, Scorpio & the 12th house rules my life. The hidden house, the selfundoing. These retrogrades of the outer planets are giving me the inward outlook. Pluto is in the 9th also retrograde in Virgo. Mercurius (ruler of Virgo) is in Taurus making a trine to Pluto. The mind, the speech, the intellect is in an easy flow picking up the knowledge of the higher realms of the subconscious mind as a messenger. Scorpio goes deep, is intense. 

Sofar a bit of astrological background. How does it play out.

As much as I resent my knowledge of feeling what is not said, the more I get pushed to come to terms with it. If you have an hidden agenda, I know it. If you say yes, but mean no, I know it. When you talk behind my back, I sense it. If you are listening to me and you disagree what I am saying, I see it. If you are jealous, I hurt it. If you are lying, I know it. If you are authentic, I welcome you. I simply just know it.
But... if there are shifts and turns, you make me loose it. 
Pisces north node, the forever, forgiving, unconditional loving, boundarie-less, helping placement.

I.e. when you cross me, I do not seek revenge. I point my energy on the spot, seeing through the outer bs and trigger the inner struggle of esteem, the conscienceness. As most likely you triggered subconsciously my self worth and made me doubt my honesty and esteem. 
My conscience is not keeping me awake at night, what does keep me awake is my forever giving kindness & understanding and being unable to leave a toxic situation behind until I alchemized it (and nightmares from previous existence (Scorpio 12th house) but that's a different story).

Coming from a south node in Virgo in the house of Sagittarius I am able to analyze into detail, with the help of Pluto, to nail down any hidden behavior what I sense from my north node placement. It's an easy flow of insights. I know why you do it, making it that my compassion overrules my ego. That's a struggle. As rather I would ignite a big fight and start a war, I am an Aries, I start the fire, but apparently that's not what I have to learn in this lifetime. 

What is here to learn? Let's talk about projection. According to Jung (asteroid Jung is exact on my NN, so that psychology is blend with my karmic path): 

'the process by which one unwittingly ascribes one's own traits, emotions and dispositions to another'

Years ago when I went through a destructive relationship, I went on a inward journey of self discovery after self destruction. At the time (I learned years later after I started to study astrology) Pluto was squaring my natal Moon and I went through an emotional hell, died many deaths, but was able to get back from it, bruised, burned, but survived. I learned the very hard way how I needed to strategize my own survival. The threat was happening on a mental level and in order to understand what was going on, I needed to think in opposite ways and during that process I learned that that was total different of how I think, relate, live & act. 
So in order to survive I needed to learn to think in opposites. Our planet is the planet of dualism. Everything has an opposite, everything. We learn it in first grade at school.

The opposite of manipulation is assertiveness. The opposite of controle is letting go. The opposite of abuse is loving support. Strength can be found through weakness. Within the sign of Pisces every behavior is present. It's the 12th and last sign of the Zodiac, a cumulation of 'All' the energies, the house of the spiritual realms and no boundaries. The 2 fishes swimming in opposite directions. 

I learned that if you use manipulation, I know you project your insecurities upon me. When I start overly giving loving support, chances are you neglect me. When I start being in control, you start to let go. This dynamic happens when both people are not anchored enough in their core self. Wanting and needing is out of proportion and unhealthy dynamics are played out. Victimhood versus resilience. Manipulation versus assertiveness.

So when a ball gets thrown at me, I have a choice: I can kick it back, I can kick it in another direction or I can keep it with me. In my early years, I kicked it back (Aries Sun started the fire & war). But in a destructive psychological war, it backfired immediately.
In my mid years, I kicked it in another direction (Libra Moon tried to harmonize and put it under the rug, to distract and hoped for a balanced outcome where everyone was happy) but the confusion of it brew even more deeply the toxics to explosion. Nowadays I keep it with me, as no game, no gain. As everything that you give attention too grows, but once you decide that toxicity has no room, you should stop feeding the poison. The antidote lies in the poison. 

To master the skill of not feeding the poison, you need to understand your own projection. If you welcome 'all' into your life and the boundaries are not clear, you need to learn who you are first. To learn who you are and where you need to set boundaries in place the universe can throw some nasty curveballs at ya. Since I have a 29° Aries Sun at the anaretic degree. (An anaretic degree in astrology is said to be a critical degree. Each zodiac sign contains 30 degrees. The anaretic degrees are the first and the last degree of a sign. In other words, 0° and the 29°.)
Anaretic means destruction/killing. Stems from the Greek word 'anareta': 'destroyer'. In the sign of Aries it can be interpreted as self-destructive. My Sun is said at 29° Aries and my ruling planet Mars is at 0° Gemini. The 29th feels as 'been there, done that' and it seems I need to finish something up in the last degree of Aries and helping me to do so my Mars at 0° comes in where the action lies within the speech and intellect where the energy of Gemini is embed as a beginners mind as it's the 0°, which can be compared to the Fool's card in the Tarot. The Fool starts a journey naively optimistic, not aware of the cliff he is standing on.

The 0° energy takes a stance that either indulges in or embraces the very pure, undiluted nature of the sign. There's a fresh, unstudied quality to a planet at this degree. Gemini, my descendant sign and it's ruler is Mercury (South Node ruler) must learn how to communicate within relationships.

One could say that with 0° you create  karma and with 29° you finish up karma.

Going back to opposites & projection.

What you want, lack, need, miss or is a blind spot within yourself, you attract in an other, it's chemistry alignment, the law of attraction! What is meant for you, will find you. What you seek is seeking you. That can be positive and/or negative, most likely it's both. The universal laws (energies/frequencies) carry the high's and lows in their vibrabions. As within everything there is an opposite. The universal frequency is finding balance. It seeks a match. Within thriving for balance we find what we call karma. If the scale is out of balance, the frequency of what's missing is send through the ether in search of what is needed to bring balance in a situation: karma.
Easy example is look at the four seasons. Summer is the opposite of winter, spring is the opposite of fall. To get into summer, nature needs to go through spring first. To get into winter, nature needs to go through fall first. But they all need eachother to come to a proces of birth and dying, to rebirth again. In spring seeds come to fruition, in summer it'll give flowers from the seeds, in autumn the leafs starts falling from the trees and in winter all is dead, waiting to repeat the cycle in spring again. It's balanced throughout a karmic process (action/reaction; a seed falls after it blossomed in the ground, to come to life again after the soil was dead)

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose

[Bette Midler - The Rose 🥀]

4 Seasons (spring, summer, autumn, fall), 4 elements (5, if you include ether) (fire, air, eath, water), 4 cardinal directions (east, west, south, north). 

The Opposites. 

The antidote lies within the poison.
All answers are within oneself. There is no need to get answers from another person, the other only points you in the direction where you need to look within yourself. As when the poison is the lie, the truth in oneself is the antidote. To search for your own truth, you need to face your own shadows first. What don’t you acknowledge in yourself? What is unlearned? Where did you put a layer as a cover up?
Strip the bandage away if you have the courage to do so. Pluto will help you with it.

Fears are played out subconsciously via projection. Fear of abandonment is the opposite of the fear of commitment.
So if you suffer from the fear in this example, your fear of abandonment plays subconsciously out via a projection onto another person. Life experiences gave you the fear. So you’ll do anything to not having going through that fear. You can act clingy, you want to have security that nothing changes. When you fear commitment, you fear the opposite of it. You wanna be free in whatever you decide to do. You don’t want to be tight down to another person, being part of a ‘we’ iso an ‘I’. The subconscious fears of both sides of abandonment and commitment, fear and grave the same. Your commitment fear wants also security to rule autonomously.
In the core, both sides want security but both from a different spectrum. Emotional security. The fears from this spectrum grave the same in the core: emotional security. As both fears hold the same pain. The ‘fear of abandonment person’ is afraid to commit out of fear of losing the other; the fear of commitment person is afraid of abandonment out of fear of committing. You understand how it works? That’s why it’s called in conflict situations to meet in the middle. Conflict is opposition. Is dualism. But if you mix it, it get’s alchemized.

Sidenote: Did you ever experienced that when you are waiting, time moves s…l…o…w…l….y…., but once the wait is over and you look back at it, it’s a fraction. And so does it work in a lifetime. The horoscope chart is a snapshot of a fraction of time for a single moment you caught your first breath on the planet. Till the time of the last breath, it is a fraction in the Universe. The soulmission on the chart with all its learnings and encounters, is a nano second in space, but the soul learning where dualism is balanced is a gem to your soul over universal energy. Same is with writing this piece. It cost me deep soul diving energy to get it out the way I want, whilst in my head it is a clear completed process, but when you read it through it's a 10 minute read maybe. It’s the proces & journey that counts.

But the fear what you project subconsciously to another goes even more deeper. When you fear abandonment, at a specific moment in time you have abandoned yourself; i.e. if you want to be awknowleged you search for constant confirmation in others to keep them close to your chest and you forget about yourself as you search the gap within an other. Because abandonment is equivalent to emotional detachment.
When you fear commitment, at a specific moment in time you have committed yourself; i.e. if you never want to experience something again what came too close, you stay at distance from others and keep the emotions at bay from others and your own. Because commitment is equivalent to emotional attachment. 
Both behaviors stemming from deep ingrained pain. As magnets they're pulled towards eachother and if turned around repel eachother. Though they need eachother to heal as both carry the key to transform eachother, as the key simply fits in the other's door.

So where is that seed planted of those fears? Where did that happen? How did that happen? This is a crucial part in facing your shadows, your demons. There is the crux. The moment you are able to scare the monsters under your bed away, where you imagined they where there, is the moment you can alchemize the fear.
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

I learned that opposites need eachother to alchemize the core as otherwise balance can't be found and toxicity has ground to grow on, creating muddy waters. 

The effect of opposite mirrors reflects yourself endlessly 

Rather hit me with the truth, never comfort me with a poisonous lie.

Because with a lie, I take both hands to repair it and loose myself in the boundary-less intoxication process and self destruction. 
That wás my karma. Meaning, with the best intentions I loose myself in the living-life process. My boundary-less karmic node in Pisces created my own muddy waters, but if I didn't swim in the muddy water, the lotus 🪷 couldn't blossom.

Pisces is all about purity, as the sign signifies the conscience and subconscious awareness. It feels, knows, senses. The fishes. The feet (Pisces bodypart). The feet must be balanced and grounded to be able to walk. It's fundamental.

Lady Justice - Libra

Where does it hurt? In my deepest self: Chiron in Aries exact at the IC.
What is the cure? Self care: Ceres in Aries.

All in my below part of the horoscope. The below part of the horoscope tells all about your inner world (house 1-6) - introvert; house 7-12 is your outer world - extrovert.  

Where is it experienced on soul level? In my hidden, self undoing 12th house: Scorpio.  
Where is it acted out? In my 5th house: Taurus: self worth.  
Where does it transform? In my 8th house: Leo, with the help of raging BML and loyal Vesta at the Lion's gate.  
Where does it balance? In my 10th Libra house, under the influence of Uranus & my waxing gibbous Moon.

What happens in the 8th house, stays in the 8th house.  
What happens in the 12th house, is the subconscious tool to find the hidden gems. The 8th & the 12th are my enablers to heal my 4th house.
Damn...wish I knew that on age 10 -🤔- but wait... I did intuitively.....only needed help to show it within me where it was hidden, only love can do that, self-love.
Diamonds 💎 are created under pressure.
It's only dusty charcoal, coming from the deep, hidden, plutonic realms, alchemized and surfaced as a diamond in the rough.
Scorpio vs Taurus. 
Dust vs matter.
Black vs white.
From destruction, to construction.
As above, so below, as within, so without.

That's the creation (Leo) of self (Aries).
That's astrology🙏🏻✨💜

💜Song: Keala Settle - This Is Me - The Greatest Showman💜